On our COVID floors, we have big flat-screen monitors that are scoreboards in the COVID race: heart rate, QT interval, and, critically, oxygen saturation. They are a kind of electronic cheat sheet that allows you to handicap a patient’s chance of winning the COVID contest before you even meet them in person.

I went into a room this morning with the impression that a patient wasn’t going to either win, place, or show in their race with COVID. The patient, it seemed, had come to the same conclusion, and had chosen neither to be resuscitated nor intubated.

It was a sound bet to make. We were pumping in all the oxygen we could, and her oxygen saturation was still low enough to qualify for home O2. She would finish this COVID race under her own power – one way or another.

I asked the medically rhetorical question, “how are you doing?”

The patient answered, “do you know why aunt…” Her voice trailed off behind the hermetically sealed BiPAP mask she was trapped in.

“What about your aunt?”

“Not aunt! Ants, ants!”

“You mean the bugs?”

The BiPAP-masked patient nodded in assent and shouted through a positive pressure of 18/8 cm, “do you know why ants don’t get sick?”

“No, I don’t. Why.”

And through a positive pressure-enhanced smile, the patient answered, “because they have anty-bodies!” Then she laughed upstream against the onrushing BiPAP airflow. 

I laughed an N-95-stifled laugh – it was laughter, even if it was only PPE laughter. My laughing choked off as I watched her oxygen saturation drop from a very low 87 percent, to a really, really low 84 percent, to a breathtakingly low 81 percent.

“Take slow breaths!”, was my post-joke advice. “Slow and deep.”

“Thanks,” she kind of coughed.

“Thanks for what?” I asked back.

“For getting my joke!” she chortled. It was a hypoxic, anti-COVID chuckle. She was one of the rare COVID patients to make me feel a little bit of glee. Hers was one of the few COVID rooms I left feeling better coming out than going in.

I went back to the medical scoreboard. Her O2 sat was still only 84 percent. I watched it until it got back up to 87 percent. Then satisfied her joke wasn’t going to kill her at the moment, I walked on.

I do not know if ants get sick, I do not know if she will win her COVID race, but in her own joyful way, she had already beaten COVID, even though the scoreboard flashed that she was losing.

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn

Related Stories

Cutting our Teeth in Dental Coding

Cutting our Teeth in Dental Coding

October is National Dental Hygiene Month, a great time to take a look at dental coding. For coders who assign ICD-10 codes, our first thought

Read More

Leave a Reply

Please log in to your account to comment on this article.

Featured Webcasts

Sepsis: Bridging the Clinical Documentation and Coding Gap to Reduce Denials

Sepsis: Bridging the Clinical Documentation and Coding Gap to Reduce Denials

Sepsis remains one of the most frequently denied and contested diagnoses, creating costly revenue loss and compliance risks. In this webcast, Angela Comfort, DBA, MBA, RHIA, CDIP, CCS, CCS-P, provides practical, real-world strategies to align documentation with coding guidelines, reconcile Sepsis-2 and Sepsis-3 definitions, and apply compliant queries. You’ll learn how to identify and address documentation gaps, strengthen provider engagement, and defend diagnoses against payer scrutiny—equipping you to protect reimbursement, improve SOI/ROM capture, and reduce audit vulnerability in this high-risk area.

September 24, 2025
2026 IPPS Masterclass 3: Master MS-DRG Shifts and NTAPs

2026 IPPS Masterclass Day 3: MS-DRG Shifts and NTAPs

This third session in our 2026 IPPS Masterclass will feature a review of FY26 changes to the MS-DRG methodology and new technology add-on payments (NTAPs), presented by nationally recognized ICD-10 coding expert Christine Geiger, MA, RHIA, CCS, CRC, with bonus insights and analysis from Dr. James Kennedy.

August 14, 2025
2026 IPPS Masterclass Day 2: Master ICD-10-PCS Changes

2026 IPPS Masterclass Day 2: Master ICD-10-PCS Changes

This second session in our 2026 IPPS Masterclass will feature a review the FY26 changes to ICD-10-PCS codes. This information will be presented by nationally recognized ICD-10 coding expert Christine Geiger, MA, RHIA, CCS, CRC, with bonus insights and analysis from Dr. James Kennedy.

August 13, 2025

Trending News

Featured Webcasts

Surviving Federal Audits for Inpatient Rehab Facility Services

Surviving Federal Audits for Inpatient Rehab Facility Services

Federal auditors are zeroing in on Inpatient Rehabilitation Facility (IRF) and hospital rehab unit services, with OIG and CERT audits leading to millions in penalties—often due to documentation and administrative errors, not quality of care. Join compliance expert Michael Calahan, PA, MBA, to learn the five clinical “pillars” of IRF-PPS admissions, key documentation requirements, and real-life case lessons to help protect your revenue.

November 13, 2025
E/M Services Under Intensive Federal Scrutiny: Navigating Split/Shared, Incident-to & Critical Care Compliance in 2025-2026

E/M Services Under Intensive Federal Scrutiny: Navigating Split/Shared, Incident-to & Critical Care Compliance in 2025-2026

During this essential RACmonitor webcast Michael Calahan, PA, MBA Certified Compliance Officer, will clarify the rules, dispel common misconceptions, and equip you with practical strategies to code, document, and bill high-risk split/shared, incident-to & critical care E/M services with confidence. Don’t let audit risks or revenue losses catch your organization off guard — learn exactly what federal auditors are looking for and how to ensure your documentation and reporting stand up to scrutiny.

August 26, 2025
The Two-Midnight Rule: New Challenges, Proven Strategies

The Two-Midnight Rule: New Challenges, Proven Strategies

RACmonitor is proud to welcome back Dr. Ronald Hirsch, one of his most requested webcasts. In this highly anticipated session, Dr. Hirsch will break down the complex Two Midnight Rule Medicare regulations, translating them into clear, actionable guidance. He’ll walk you through the basics of the rule, offer expert interpretation, and apply the rule to real-world clinical scenarios—so you leave with greater clarity, confidence, and the tools to ensure compliance.

June 19, 2025

Trending News

Happy National Doctor’s Day! Learn how to get a complimentary webcast on ‘Decoding Social Admissions’ as a token of our heartfelt appreciation! Click here to learn more →

CYBER WEEK IS HERE! Don’t miss your chance to get 20% off now until Dec. 2 with code CYBER24